Friday, February 09, 2018

Pleasure Yourself

It's  almost Valentine's Day 2018. Couples are planning their romantic dinners and getaways. But we're not all coupled: there are 19.5 million singles over 65 in the U.S.*

If you don't have a partner today, you're not alone. But that doesn't mean you can't have sex with the person who knows you the best: yourself.

Self-pleasuring is delicious sex, and it doesn’t matter how old we are, whether or not we have a partner, if arousal and orgasms are easy or challenging for us, or we grew up thinking that masturbation was shameful. Staying sexual is within our own power.

I hope you'll read my 2016 blog post, "Solo Sex is Real Sex," featuring Jeffrey Dean Morgan (sort of) and my "Senior's Guide to Solo Sex" for Senior Planet.

Here are some of my favorite quotes about solo sex:
  • “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” — Lily Tomlin
  • “Among all types of sexual activity, masturbation is, however, the one in which the female most frequently reaches orgasm.” — Alfred Charles Kinsey, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 1953
  • “We know that more than 70 to 80 percent of women masturbate, and 90 percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.” — Joycelyn Elders, former U.S. Surgeon General.
  • “How to have sex with friends, lovers, wives, husbands all begins and ends with Masturbation.” — Betty Dodson (dubbed “the Mother of Masturbation”), age 88. 
  • “If God didn't want us to masturbate, we wouldn't have been given these long arms.” — Dan Savage in a recent Savage Lovecast episode.
  • “Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. I really hope no one misinterprets this quote as being about masturbation.” —Audrey Hepburn

If you're dating or ready to date, I invite you to enjoy my lively new, free webinar, "Safer Sex for Seniors"! Learn how to eroticize safer sex, how to choose the right condom size, even how to put a condom on a soft penis! Let me know what you learn and what you think.

If you haven't already, please subscribe to my new newsletter here -- a new issue is coming soon. Instead of having to chase me all over the Internet, I'll come to your inbox occasionally (roughly monthly) with interesting senior sex news, views, practical tips, and special offers just for my mailing list.

Thanks for being a part of my community!

* I don't have current stats for the over-50 population, but I'm looking.

(In case parts of this post sounds familiar, some sections originally appeared on my blog on Feb. 14, 2016.)


  1. Dan, M69

    Yes. And the Surgeon General, dear lady, got fired by Clinton for telling the truth. Thanks, Joan, for telling the truth. I got a hug from Betty Dodson once. A highlight of my life. I think I own 6 or 7 books on solo love. Preach on, Joan.

  2. Explore your whole body and discover your hot spots. Your whole body is an erogenous zone. Be curious, noticing where you find pleasure, how you like it and how it changes. We let lovers explore our bodies so why not do it ourselves?


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